An Elephant, a Dog and an Ass,
Tried to see who would pee the fastest,
On the referee’s go,
All three unleashed their flow,
And learnt: Pee time is constant over mass*.

*assuming mass > 3 kg The first sentence of this paper reads: “We filmed the urination of 16 animals and obtained 28 videos of urination from YouTube, listed in SI Appendix. Movies S1–S4 show that urination style is strongly dependent on animal size.”